Why Me??

Why me, why do I get all of this crap? This screwed up life? My dad, divorced parents, no job, ED, guys? I'm tired of dealing with the crap between my parents, I'm tired of worrying about my dad and seeing him do this to himself, I'm tired of feeling useless, I'm tired of fight ED, I'm tired of trying to deal with all my guy friends, I'm tired of being me.

This is all I know:
I love both of my parents, no matter what, but I just get really mad at them sometimes. I have an ED of some type (even though I don't want to admit it). The only guy friend that I know will always be there for me is BD and maybe RA. I love MB and probably always will but I think I might also be starting to  love RA.

What I don't know:
Why my parents can't stop arguing, ever. Why my dad sees my 18th birthday as an opportunity to save money my not having to pay child support anymore. Why I can't get rid of ED. Why ever friend that is a guy I always end up hurting them somehow. Why can't I just run away. Why can't I do what is in the back of my head that I want so badly to do.

RA:
You don't know how much it meant to me that you came to my house. Who knows what I would have done if you hadn't shown up. Thanks :)

I just can't get out of my mind all of the things people said to me today. It just reminds me how I am just worthless and a piece of shit.