Ok -> BAD -> Worse -> Ok -> Great -> Blah

Today started out ok kinda. I still had the regret left from last night after I got to my dads. Then when I got to school things only got worse. I just felt like yelling at everyone and just being alone. By third period I had the biggest headache and my throat was killing me and I just really wanted to go home. So I finally got home and took some meds and read for a while. Then I just had to get up and have a bunch of cookies, stupid stupid me. Then came the sugar rush. Let me tell you, when you're sick and you try to move around a lot it doesn't work at all. I was bouncing off the walls. Then the best part was going to see him :) I wasn't sure if I really felt like going but I'm soooooo glad I did!! I loved spending the afternoon with him, even though I locked my keys in my car like an idiot. When we were sitting on the couch I just wanted to lean on him and go to sleep so bad, but that would have creeped him out. Everything felt ok with him there. It's weird the minute we went our separate ways I started to go down hill again. The sickness came back, the guilt, the disappointment in myself, everything came rushing back. I just came home and layed on my bed and have barely gotten up since. I will once my bro gets home though and I will have to go back out in the cold and wet again. Now it looks like I have a long night ahead of me; I've got to try to write a paper, listen to my stupid dog bark and never shut up, stick Kleenex up my nose, have a humidifier on in my room and probably not sleep very well. Oh well, I'm just glad I got to spend that time with him today.