Wow,
I can't believe I haven't written anything on here for a while. I have thought about doing it a few times since my last post but just never did it for some reason. A lot has been going on in my life and I am just trying to keep up and adjust.
The new job isn't so new anymore. I have learned a lot and still am. The work environment is really good and most of the people I work with are really nice and easy to be around. Sadly, this isn't a job I see myself being in for years. It's not what I want to do with my life. I still would like to get my masters or even get an accounting or tax job that I enjoy. I struggle a lot with having set hours that I have to work. That's why I have seriously contemplated trying to run my own business. For now I will just see what the future brings.
RA graduates next week and DD comes home from his first year. It seems like the end to another chapter of my life. It will be interesting/ hard to adjust to RA being home for good. Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic that he is coming home and I don't have to drive three hours in order to see him. I just feel like it will be hard to drive back and forth from his house. He wants to go to the gym with me but I will be so worn out by the time the workout is done and we eat that it will be hard to make myself go home and shower. It would be a lot easier if we could get our own place. I am more than ready to do that but RA isn't. Well, he wants to but I feel like we need to wait and see where his career takes him. Thats another thing that makes me anxious. I will go with him wherever his job takes him I just don't want to regret leaving where I am at too soon. Like I said I don't see myself there for a long time but I haven't even been there a year and they are training me to be a backup and I have daily responsibilities. I guess it's more of the fact that I would have to tell them that I'm leaving. I don't have a problem losing the job, I just don't want to have to have that conversation with them and then have to continue to work there until I leave. Again, we will see what the future brings.
Everything else in my life is constantly changing I feel like. Many ups and downs, its not even worth going through it all. Let me just say its not always been easy emotionally. I still fight that internal battle every day. I workout at least four days a week and try to eat right. My downfalls are the weekends. Some days I feel like I am handling it better and some I feel like I'm at the bottom of it all again. Some days I honestly wonder what I am struggling for anymore. That what I am fighting is not even attainable. It is even harder when I feel like I have made no progress with anything and that I am in a limbo. Every day brings a new feeling.
We will see what the future brings. Even though I try to plan and be prepared for what life will throw at me, I never see the curve coming.
