I fell like crap but at the same time I feel great? It makes no sense to me. I feel great because I didn't have to go to school today, I got to hang  out with some friends (even though it wasn't the best time), I had fun scrapbooking, and I'm not constantly thinking about my weight. It was bad because he still managed to rip my heart out, I feel bigger than ever, I feel like I can't do anything right, and I miss Humbolt like crazy. Today  would have been perfect if I weren't so freaking fat and lazy, if I hadn't eaten, and if I could stop caring. Because all it does is cause me pain and misery. I'm thinking that I just need to take off on my own for a week, I'll be 18 soon. I'm tired of the drama, the pain, the tears, and the worry. Over everything. All I ever want to do anymore is lay on the swing by myself and listen to nature. Maybe my mom and brother are right, I am a hermit. Or maybe I'm tired of the real world......