Well, I'll do anything to avoid doing homework. So here I am, again. Well let me just say, I hated today. First, I forgot I had to go to my dad's house and that wasn't part of my plans for tonight. So, I just locked up in my room early tonight. I'm just trying not to think about how much I ate today, I went waaayyyy over my calorie limit today. But surprisingly I'm not feeling as bad about it as I usually do, I think its because I'm talking to a certain someone :)
Ugh, my dad has already started to act drunk :( I swear he wouldn't have so much problems if he would just stop smoking and drinking. I'm tired of yelling and arguing with him. Luckily I'll be gone next year so I won't have to deal with it as much. but I will constantly be worrying about my brother being with him.
So, I'm listening to music and 21 guns comes on and I really listened to it for the first time. It really goes with what I'm thinking. " when you're at the end of the road, and you lost all sense of control, and your thoughts have taken their toll, when your mind breaks the spirit of your soul, your faith walks on broken glass, and the hangover doesn't pass, nothings ever built to last, you're in ruins, one-21 guns, lay down your arms-give up the fight, one-21 guns, throw up our arms into the sky, you and I" My mind is so tired of thinking through things, so I'm just gonna go day by day and not worry as much. I'm sure I'll still think about things though.
So, its especially hard for me some days at school because I have to deal with MB. Sometimes I just wish we had stayed friends. It just frustrates me that I can't let go. Every time he talks to me I can't get mad at him and remember the old times. But I'm tired of getting hurt by him. "and I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it ain't no way we can be friends"
But to look on the bright side I have got a great, new person in my life, that I don't know where I would be without him right now. I think he has an idea though. He keeps me sane and thinking relatively straight, haha. He helps me through everyday. Like today, my phone died and I was lost all day. I just thought that I might of been because I didn't get to talk to him. I know, I sound like I'm obsessed, but whatever. He can tell me to f*** off if he wants to, until then I'm gonna keep annoying him. I wish I could have known him sooner, but I'm grateful that I got to know him when I did. "every now and then I get a little lost, my strings all get tangled, my wires all get crossed, every now and then I'm right up on the edge, dangling my toes out over the ledge, I just thank God you're here" Thanks for putting up with me :) I know I'm a weirdo and a little crazy. I still don't know why you talk to me. Even though I haven't known you for long, you have helped me through one of the hardest times in my life.
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