Well today was odd. Thats the only way I can think of to explain it. I spent a lot of time thinking about stuff, trying not to cry. It seems like everytime things start to get better, they start to fall apart again. I just feel tired, phsyically and mentally. I'm ready to give up....on everything. I'm tired of trying to keep it together. I'm tired of trying to convince people that they are wrong about things people say about them and what they think about themselves. I wish people would just be themselves and not try to be something that they aren't.
I wish he would do what he wants to do. I will make it through it if he leaves. maybe. I can go another three months alone...can't I? But, at the same time, I've been through worse and the hurt he would cause wouldn't be all that bad.....hopefully. All I want for him is to be happy, and if that means that he leave, I wish he would just do it. I'd rather go through the pain and loss sooner rather than later.
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