Well here I go again, end of the day downing. I ate, thats why I do this. I was doing fine, I worked out for 50 mins and burned 550 calories but then I come back and I eat more, so I just canceled all that work. Why do I do this to myself?! I don't even want to know how many calories I just ate. I had 2 boca burgers again with a steamer veggie thingy. it was good but to much!
I miss RA a lot, its driving me crazy, I know, Im obsessed and its probably freaking him out a little. I hope he is ok though because lately it seems like something is wrong or he is upset or something, idk. He says he is fine but he doesn't seem happy. Idk, its probably me annoying the heck out of him. I'm trying to stop bothering him with my issues but its hard. Plus he keeps thinking that I'm going to leave him or cheat on him, well, I would kill myself before I would do that. I wish he would just have faith in me and trust me. I wish he knew how much Ive thought about him leaving me or cheating on me. Its always there but i push it away saying he loves me and he wouldn't do that, just like Im not gonna do to him. Idk, its frustrating sometimes.
I miss home, as in nashville, where I can just go walk or go drive. I miss having him there to talk to or just to hold me when I need it. I miss being there for him. I miss the dogs at the clinic. I miss the creek. I miss the lazy days. I miss the pizza nights with RA. I haven't had pizza in two weeks, its sad, I can't even eat it without him anymore.
As for college, I constantly feel like im on a temporary trip away from home. I never feel comfortable here, it sucks and its starting to happen when i go home to.
Ok well i need a shower and then to get back to work. see ya