Sooooo, this weekend. Possibly one of the worst I have had in a while. On top of that, it was so yo-yo mood wise. I would go from enjoying myself to deep anxiety. At this point I feel like my life is falling apart. I should have just kept my butt in Memphis for the weekend instead of trying to enjoy myself by leaving. Don't get me wrong I had some fun this weekend it is just REALLY overshadowed by the bad. I had fun at a cookout with friends and a craft fair with my family and some light running with the dog but other than that it wasn't any good.
I am not gonna talk about the worst of it because I don't want to even think about that right now. But my dad started going into withdrawal this morning. I had seem him start withdrawal and have heard about how bad it can be but nothing compares to actually seeing it happen. Dry heaving at least once an hour and uncontrollable shaking. And thats just from what I could see from watching him. This started early this morning and continued until early afternoon when it slowed down. When I left around 4 he couldn't keep water down but had made it out of bed. I am not saying he didn't bring it on himself or that he doesn't deserve it. No matter what I still love him and it still kills me to see him in so much pain and feel so helpless.
Also, my uncle's back gave out this morning while he was visiting us, ended up on the floor for about an hour. It was not fun to watch but I think he is ok now. Just didn't help my mood.
To add to all this, I could not seem to control what I put in my mouth this weekend. Soooo many sweets. If its there, I'm likely to eat it. Its a vicious cycle I go through every week. I'm starting to think I should just give up.
Everything looks hopeless right now.
Everything.
Stuck.
Got to go.