Pain and Suffering

Last night was rough and the worst part was that it came out of no where. It's just, I waste so much time doing useless stuff instead of school work. I do it to myself all the time.

This day is not going good at all. If its possible I feel worse than I did last night. The pain from last night only gave me a few hours of relief this morning. All I can think about is all the work I have to do and all of my other problems and in the end, I get nothing done cause I spend to much time thinking about it or avoiding it. I sleep every night but I wake up feeling like I haven't sleep at all. I don't know what to do anymore.

I am going to try to start going to the gym again, that may be part of it. I'm almost sure thats part of the problem. I'm just so tired I don't want to go but Im gonna make myself go today. Im gaining to much weight, which doesn't help at all.

I just want to give up sometimes. just stop, pack my bags and drive away from here and start over. but even with all my worries and problems I still want to stay around because of the people I love. I don't know, what I'm doing or going to do. All I can do is stare.

I havent felt this miserable in a long time. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. I just feel so inferior and worthless.

I just don't know...