I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost without him, without home. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I'm useless and fat. I can't get a grade any better than a c- in college. Which doesn't help to make me want to study for midterms this week, doesn't make me want to do any work at all. Bad thoughts, thats all thats running through my mind. I want to not eat, i want to go workout, I'm tired, I have work to do, blah blah blah. whats the point when it won't be good enough. plus i don't get to go on the mission trip this year and it would be perfect to do my next paper on but i have stupid midterms!! I miss going soooooo much!! I need a break from college and i only get two days for fall break. This sucks!!