day started out good but ended/ending badly. Im exhausted, tired of studying, want to just lay down and watch a movie, read for fun, not have to go to class, go home, lose weight cause I'm getting fatter. Im tired at failing everything. I wish i could go on the mexico mission trip but i can't because i have a midterm and classes. we don't even get a full week for fall break or thanksgiving. Im tired mentally more than i am physically. RA has the shingles and I hate to see him in so much pain. I wish i could help him, i just feel useless/worthless, i can't do anything for him. like right now, he is low, really low and i can't do anything about it way out here in memphis. he is saying its cause he is trying to quit the pain pills cold turkey like he is getting addicted to them :( I don't know what to do now. I'm even more worried about him now. this is killing me!! plus i have a midterm tomorrow and another friday.
i feel like RA doesn't tell me anything anymore, like i don't matter as much to him.
i wish there was something that could just take all this away. the anxiety, the exhaustion, the worry, the sadness, the frustration. i want it all gone or to feel more, idk. I'm not making any sense.